Mrs Framley's Visit

Twas a very good thing I went off to see old Florence Coales t'uther afternoon because poor soul she wasn't half in a bother.

That there Mrs Framley, her of the" Oh Mrs Rhubarb you are so wonderful", she who always has to have the last word and reckons rest of us village folk is stupid peasants , well, seems she had been a visiting poor old Florence for a neighbourly little chat, all social like, and poor Florence was in a right state she was when I got there. No call for upsetting Florence, there weren't, she is a good woman she is , tain't right to be going upsetting her at her time of life.

Mrs Framley, she bought a cake from Waitrose, Fair Trade organic chocolate and walnut it were so Florence says. Fair trade my foot, if Mrs High and Mighty wanted to trade fair she might think on buying at the village shop and supporting local farmers and traders not supporting some women in Africa or wherever and having stuff sent over here. Ain't fashionable that though is it? Don't get Brownie points for off setting your carbon foot print if you is popping down the local shop do you? No good buying local when all them posh country style magazines is telling you to buy your Wellingtons from some London shop who does mail order , especially when the hardware store don't stock pink floral ones with a ribbon lace up and the magazine tells you you has to have floral this season now is it? You tell me what is the point of ribbon lace ups in pink flowers when you is mucking out the hens, the buggers think they are some fancy worm or t'uther and they'd be pecking at your toes . Daft idea.

Anyways, Mrs Framley, she says by the way of nothing , all smiles like, that she thinks Florence is very brave letting Phillip Bucket and his "Friend " Peter do the Horticultural Show setting up tables and things, what with the kiddies always being about the place and them being what they are, but its nice Florence being such a liberal minded woman and ignoring all the gossip and everything. and she ain't sure she herself would be that brave, after all we all know what the Bible says about that sort of thing she says, and then she as sweet as anything she wonders what Deacon Prescott thinks about it all him being the Baptist Deacon and a right old school howler he is ,anti everything.

Course Old Florence is ever so upset and she don't like the idea of doing something wrong like especially, if its something the Bible is set against and she ain't no idea at all what it is that Mr Bucket and his Peter are meant to have done because they've always been very kind to her, so she is all flustered and all. "Oh dear" says Mrs Framley" I didn't mean to upset you," she says " I just thought you had a right to know what people are saying " and then pats poor old Florence on the hand and off she trots in her inappropriate footwear and leaves old Florence all confused, which to be honest ain't hard to do. Just before she goes she says " you know I do hope this blows over after all what would the Deacon Prescott say if he knew".

I know where I'd like to poke her pink floral wellingtons I do.