Well my dear here we are, how nice of you to pop in. I've put the kettle on, settle yourself down and make yourself comfy, no not there dear, its the cats chair, yes that one's fine as long as you don't fidget too much because the legs have been a bit wonky ever since Albert came back from the "Flaming Ferret" Wednesday last and fell over it, I tried to fix it but you know there is only so much you can do when you only have sellotape and chewing gum to hand. Oh you know the "Flaming Ferret" do you? You do surprise me ,nice girl like you I would have thought the "Bishops Arms" would be more your thing. Lots of London folk go there on the weekend, ever so posh, they do pigs trotters with olives and call it swineherds lunch, now you tell me where on earth a pigman would find an olive to stick in his lunchbox around here, bloody city folk thinks they knows it all. Treat us as if we're thick or summit. Your not from about here are you though? No I thought not. So where are your people from then? London well can't have everything, I suppose next thing you'll be wanting a Waitrose and street lighting.Did you want a Digestive with your cup of tea dear? Oh dear wheat allergy what a shame..get a lot of Londoners with Wheat allergy I hear, funny that you wouldn't think they grow that much wheat in London would you?
